the tour came apart in brisbane, in sydney everybody treated me good and i made enough money to do what i wanted. on my plane back an asian boy had brought all his belongings in a garbage bag and these two girls made fun of him (jerks) and there was a man with nerve damage and everytime he smiled he looked like a scared kid. one time at the end of the plane ride he was saying " ha ha, everybodies standing up but the door's not even open yet, it would be funny if they all fell over! ha ha ha." he looked about 50. when he said things that he thought was funny he would work it up at the end like there was a crazy punch line, but usually there wasn't and he was just laughing at everybody around him.

i stayed with Emmy. i felt like i could play hide and seek in her house for years and the game would get louder and sillier cause we would have so many places to hide. and she had such nice things all those records and that wim wenders film and so many books and zines. she had the fabulous diamonds seven inch with taht beautiful cover and the alps record about the dinosaurs and she showed me this revolutionary black drum and vocal group from the sixties called the lost poets. they had this great song called "white man's got a god complex" and their voices all picked up together and spoke with such familiarity. they were familiar with all of it and knew it better than you. going to other peoples houses always reminds me of how little i actually own, all ive got are a bunch of stolen books and some clothes.

when i got to shaun and rachel's house on day five they had made me a pizza and prepared me a bed, i liked it when rachel would hug shaun's shoulders or they would argue about who was going to do a favour for who, you could tell how much they loved eachother in their actions alone. i sat at their kitchen table and sewed cd cases together while we talked about ODB and small town violence. shaun grew up in a town like mine and we got along on that. they also had alot of beautiful stuff and rachel let me pick the music cause she said "it might be a while before your someplace that you can pick again." all night in their house while i stayed up writing you could hear people moving in other rooms. it reminded me of that truman capote book, other voices in other rooms, i haven't read it, but i always liked the title, it used to give me alot of ideas when i was younger.

the first time i met shaun he was on his way to maggotsville, which is a warehouse in sydney full of graffitti and anarchists and me and lachlan followed him to see the thaw and the subverts, the door girl let us in cheap cause we couldn't really pay and i also met shaun tenzenmen, he was handing out flyers for my gig that weekend and i said "oh hey, i am playing this!" and we started talking and then shaun number one heard me and went "oh your fulton girls club?" and we started talking about japanese pop and touring and then we all walked off to watch the thaw, who kind of destroyed me, they were amazing and since then i have wanted to play a gig with them, the drummer asked everybody to put their smokes out "cause we like our lungs" and these kids were running around chasing this dog and the younger girl came and stood next to the drum kit, so they gave her a stick and she thrashed a cymbal all threw their next song. it was the rythm the thaw had, i think it's a revolutionary thing to fuck with time signature, people sink into the beat and get comfortable to easy. when you move it around and fuck it up peoples thoughts come in bursts instead of drawls.

later i saw shaun at my gig at the pitz, another warehouse except at the pitz bands can live, practice, play and they show films their too, they are working on building a recording studio to record the shows and help bands out more, shaun got a little drunk and someone mentioned that i sounded like bright eyes and shaun said "what? if anything he sounds like jandek, or daniel johnston, except, you know... daniel johnston was like retarded." i still laugh about that alot to myself.

i feel like all these miles i'm seeing might make up for the years i'm gonna miss. today the cold light of living looks stupid and silly, i feel good.