my fear about death and god and people makes me think strong, lonely thoughts. i feel brave walking around in the dark when nobody is there. becoming less involved, attached, moving around the universe like a phantom or a silly ghost, a dumb kid in an ugly black chasm finally making it. making it to solitude and disconnection through movement. yeah, some kind of dream. some people write me and say they miss me, some strangers send me mail telling me i'm brave and beautiful and smart, some people hate me and make sure i know it, but when i climb out my window and look up at oblivion with all it's stars and planets and greek gods and modern myths, it all leaves me. and then once it's gone, like magic, ideas are everywhere, and they all belong to me, and i'm alone with them. no big dirty people, no stupid maps, you don't need a map when your making the world up right in front of you.