Thursday, August 9, 2007

a persons ideas about time can make things seem short and sour, that's how it seems when i look back at all the howling and stomping and quiet and waiting and the illness and bad luck. god's dumb voodoo didn't work and in the end it all happened at once, everything just happened and now i am here, left alone in a room to think about the smog over new orleans and the magical properties of a rooster's claw and the mud by a riverbank where i caught a turtle. any of it, all of it. i wasn't born into feeling alone, but i learnt it quick enough.

me and the christian kids from next door made a fortress behind my grandmas house, i took comic books back there and used to tell the christian kids that i didn't need god cause i would bea the devil up if he ever came here and we had a neighbour with a dirt back yard and bastard dog who bit anybody it wanted and i used to make sport of jumping over the fence kicking it while it was asleep and then getting back over before i lost my ass to it. and her mom was fat and had alot of ugly boyfriends one used to be on her couch watching jerry springer all the time and she took me into this room of her house where they had a nintendo and the walls where piled up the sides with dirty clothes and porn magazines and trash all over and one time me and my cousin josh stood on top of grandmas car and yelled out that she had big fat titties and she went inside and then one of her mom's boyfriends came out after us, fat and stomping and shoutin so we let out into the corn field and threw things at him cause he was too fat to catch us.

it's a goddamned punch in the belly when somebody asks me simple questions these days, i gotta get outta here, i'm angry all the time.

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